Wednesday 20 November 2013

I Don't Want to Die Before I am Dead



Last week I celebrated a birthday which came with well wishes from great friends who are on Facebook and not just Facebook friends. I don’t want any of these friends to be as surprised as the couple who attended the funeral of an old friend. Arriving at the chapel they found it empty except for the minister and a couple of guests. Shocked by the poor turnout, the woman whispered to her husband, “Having 730 friends on Facebook I thought there would have been more people here”.

Getting old(er) does cause one to reflect.  I don’t share the sentiments of comedian George Burns who sang  “I wish I was eighteen again, going where I’ve never been…”  My perspective is more like that of my ageing Grandfather when he was asked if he wished he could live his life over again. As gracious, godly and humble as he was he said “I have no desire to live my life over again; I’m afraid I would make a bigger mess of it the second time.” 

One of the things I enjoy from this perspective of life is that I don’t have to prove anything. Recently I was at the gym and had just completed a workout and returned to the locker room. (I don’t exercise to become stronger or get in better shape, but rather just trying to slow the inevitable decline that comes with advancing years.) As I was changing, some younger guys on the other side of the locker room were engaged in a testosterone and possibly steroid fuelled bragging session. A few lockers over was a gentlemen about my age to whom I commented, “Isn’t it great to be old enough that we don’t have to prove anything”.

This summer I was challenged to identify a project that had nothing to do with my job or my home, it won’t impress my boss or pad my résumé. It needed to be one of those maybe someday I might ventures. So I decided to start writing a book. No one is forcing me to write nor am I contracted to publish it. It is just one of those things I feel internally burdened to do.  Restated, just as I am getting to the point in life where others don’t pressure me, I am feeling an intrinsic burden to complete this project. And somehow I believe that feeling is a good thing. 

Lord, as I continue to move forward in life, give me the vision to see what You want, the ears to listen to Your voice, the passion to pursue Your path and the strength to accomplish Your work…and please don’t let me die before I am dead.

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