We live in
an era when the word priority is vital and having our priorities linearly
listed is apparently virtuous. It seems that December, like no other month challenges
that noble standard.
So we end up
at the company Christmas party where we avoid discussing shop but have nothing
else in common to talk about and in the meantime we are getting further behind
on Christmas shopping and then we attend the school concert where our daughter
is cast in the role of a sheep or our hyperactive grandson plays the part of a
tree when we need to be at home baking and all the while we are free-falling
down the list of priorities and watching as they flash by us. (This is not a
breathless run-on sentence, it’s just my life.)
So what do
we do with the priority list? You know, the one that has God first, spouse
second, family third, church fourth, work fifth, social life sixth etc. It
sounds good in theory but it doesn’t function in the real world. If God is a higher
priority than my spouse, how would that be demonstrated? If my spouse is a
higher priority than my job how does that play out when I tell my boss I am going
to be late for work or not coming to work at all because my spouse is a
priority? How does a husband explain to his wife that she is a priority while
he spends his evening running a shuttle service for his kids? How does a new
mother explain to her three-month-old twins that their daddy is a priority and
they will therefore not be getting attention right now?
Let me
suggest that I start by taking God off the top of my priority list and place
Him instead as the hub or at the centre of the spoked wheel of my life. Then my
relationship with God determines how I relate to all the other relationships in
my life. A healthy relationship with my spouse includes spending time with my
children. A healthy relationship with my children should include a component of
church life. If my wife is an accountant, both of us will realize that tax time
is particularly busy. She will then not
be pressured to change her work priority just to please me. Instead part of her
commitment to me will be demonstrated by not caving into my inappropriate
demands on her time at the busiest time of the year. This will prompt me to be
the husband God intends me to be.
God never calls
me to be committed to one relationship at the expense of another. And because
of that I am capable of being all the person He wants me to be – even in
December.
