God Doesn’t Need To Be My Number One Priority

We live in an era when the word priority is vital and having our priorities linearly listed is apparently virtuous. It seems that December, like no other month challenges that noble standard.

So we end up at the company Christmas party where we avoid discussing shop but have nothing else in common to talk about and in the meantime we are getting further behind on Christmas shopping and then we attend the school concert where our daughter is cast in the role of a sheep or our hyperactive grandson plays the part of a tree when we need to be at home baking and all the while we are free-falling down the list of priorities and watching as they flash by us. (This is not a breathless run-on sentence, it’s just my life.)

So what do we do with the priority list? You know, the one that has God first, spouse second, family third, church fourth, work fifth, social life sixth etc. It sounds good in theory but it doesn’t function in the real world. If God is a higher priority than my spouse, how would that be demonstrated? If my spouse is a higher priority than my job how does that play out when I tell my boss I am going to be late for work or not coming to work at all because my spouse is a priority? How does a husband explain to his wife that she is a priority while he spends his evening running a shuttle service for his kids? How does a new mother explain to her three-month-old twins that their daddy is a priority and they will therefore not be getting attention right now?

Let me suggest that I start by taking God off the top of my priority list and place Him instead as the hub or at the centre of the spoked wheel of my life. Then my relationship with God determines how I relate to all the other relationships in my life. A healthy relationship with my spouse includes spending time with my children. A healthy relationship with my children should include a component of church life. If my wife is an accountant, both of us will realize that tax time is particularly busy.  She will then not be pressured to change her work priority just to please me. Instead part of her commitment to me will be demonstrated by not caving into my inappropriate demands on her time at the busiest time of the year. This will prompt me to be the husband God intends me to be.

God never calls me to be committed to one relationship at the expense of another. And because of that I am capable of being all the person He wants me to be – even in December.

The Policy Governance® Ride

We took our kids to Disneyland. It was toward evening and we decided to go on the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. We (including our young daughter) thought this was a quiet train ride. Our first hint that the ride might be a little -um - different than what we expected was after we were buckled in and had been given the advice to “hang onto your hats and glasses ‘cuz this is the wildest ride in the wilderness”.

Hopefully a director’s experience on a Policy Governance board doesn’t leave them feeling quite as surprised, out of control or subjected to the screams of fellow travelers as that roller coaster ride. However it can often feel much different than what one imagined or is used to.

So how can we make sure our new travelers aren’t surprised?

Minimize Rider Turnover

Term limits seem to be a standard part of any set of by-laws with many boards still embracing the traditional practice of board members cycling off after a set term. The traditional rationale likes to make the case for new blood. And while this can be an admiral ambition, an organization risks forcing good directors off the board and searching desperately for breathing bodies to fill the vacancies.

Orient New Riders

For some members of our family, the challenge of the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad was not so much the ride as it was the surprise. In somewhat the same way, director candidates need to be clear what the ride will be like so they can make an informed decision about whether they want to get on or not. All too often uninformed or under-informed candidates let their name stand (read coerced or strong-armed) to sit on a board. If the candidate has never sat on a board before, they will likely have no idea what to expect or what is expected of them other than the promise of short and limited meetings. If they have previously sat on a board they may come with the purview of a traditional board rather than a Policy Governance board.

Make sure Riders are Prepared 

Once the new director is buckled in they need to be oriented for the ride. It is exasperating when one loses one’s hat and glasses because one was not warned in advance. When a board has new riders, special attention needs to be given to them. They need a time of training; whether that is bringing in someone to train them or sending them away for training. The consultant who facilitated the implementation of Policy Governance may do that or the new rider can attend the introductory training offered by John and Miriam Carver.  www.carvergovernance.com/train.html

Have the Right Blood Type

Okay so the roller coaster analogy breaks down. Boards do need fresh blood, but not any kind of blood. It is important that the blood types match. Healthy boards will regularly look for outside expertise to address relevant issues – or transfuse fresh blood into the board. This education, expertise or new blood can be in the area of governance or relevant trends as it affects the organization.

So hang on to your hats and glasses; the ride will be different, but if you have an idea what to expect it can be fun.

I Don't Want to Die Before I am Dead

Last week I celebrated a birthday which came with well wishes from great friends who are on Facebook and not just Facebook friends. I don’t want any of these friends to be as surprised as the couple who attended the funeral of an old friend. Arriving at the chapel they found it empty except for the minister and a couple of guests. Shocked by the poor turnout, the woman whispered to her husband, “Having 730 friends on Facebook I thought there would have been more people here”.

Getting old(er) does cause one to reflect.  I don’t share the sentiments of comedian George Burns who sang  “I wish I was eighteen again, going where I’ve never been…”  My perspective is more like that of my ageing Grandfather when he was asked if he wished he could live his life over again. As gracious, godly and humble as he was he said “I have no desire to live my life over again; I’m afraid I would make a bigger mess of it the second time.” 

One of the things I enjoy from this perspective of life is that I don’t have to prove anything. Recently I was at the gym and had just completed a workout and returned to the locker room. (I don’t exercise to become stronger or get in better shape, but rather just trying to slow the inevitable decline that comes with advancing years.) As I was changing, some younger guys on the other side of the locker room were engaged in a testosterone and possibly steroid fuelled bragging session. A few lockers over was a gentlemen about my age to whom I commented, “Isn’t it great to be old enough that we don’t have to prove anything”.

This summer I was challenged to identify a project that had nothing to do with my job or my home, it won’t impress my boss or pad my résumé. It needed to be one of those maybe someday I might ventures. So I decided to start writing a book. No one is forcing me to write nor am I contracted to publish it. It is just one of those things I feel internally burdened to do.  Restated, just as I am getting to the point in life where others don’t pressure me, I am feeling an intrinsic burden to complete this project. And somehow I believe that feeling is a good thing. 

Lord, as I continue to move forward in life, give me the vision to see what You want, the ears to listen to Your voice, the passion to pursue Your path and the strength to accomplish Your work…and please don’t let me die before I am dead.

Why Do I Put Up With This?

It is early November and we are in Central Florida about a two minute walk to the ocean. The temperate is 32 degrees Celsius compared to 32 degrees Fahrenheit in Winnipeg. It’s that disparity that prompted Lorna to ask how anyone decided that Winnipeg should ever be inhabited. I feebly defended the prairies by suggesting there was good agriculture and mining. Not sure who I was arguing with – her or me, however this led us into a couple of interesting questions.

1. How did we get here?

This question caused us to trace our lineage to the emigration of our ancestors from the British Isles, enticed by offerings of hope, happiness, wealth and a future. We couldn’t figure out why they didn’t consider their descendants being stuck in five months of snow. But I digress. We talked about we were each reached with the good news of Jesus Christ and then how we connected with each other. (How was I so fortunate and what happened that Lorna ended up in this situation?) We discovered that a myriad of small decisions made by a myriad of people directed us to a country, city, community and a house where we have lived for over forty years; which led us to the next question.

2. Why do we stay here?

The beach lines of Florida are dotted signs and real estate offices adverting us to homes where we can escape the relentless discomforts of winter. And yes it is tempting. So why don’t we cave? It comes down to one word – family; children, grandchildren, church family and community. Those relational bonds tie us to shoveling over snorkeling, cold winds rather than warm breezes and command starts to warm our cars instead of cooling them.

Here’s the point. I am where I am because of choices I have made and continue to make. Life is more meaningful when I ponder the options and decide that I’ll stick with what I have - thank you. When I was sixteen years old my Dad told me that I could have anything in life if I wanted it bad enough. What I have continued to learn is that he was so right. I have discovered that what I say I want, I don’t want nearly as much as I think I do. I want it, but I’m not prepared to pay the price.

Now if I can just remember that when I get home.

You Don’t Need To Hold Me Accountable

Accountability is one of those overused and often misunderstood buzzwords. People get together in what they refer to as accountability groups which are in reality re-countability groups.  People in this type of group get together to recount what has happened in their life over the last week or so, which may also include a time of reflection and confession.

Suppose I am part of a group who is trying to lose weight.  I regularly meet with other people to talk about my diet and weight loss program. It usually works like this: I tell the group how much weight I need to lose and the period of time over which I need to lose it. At subsequent meetings I share my success for which I am applauded or share my failure at which time I am encouraged to work harder. So what motivates my weight loss? Is it the value of a healthy lifestyle or the fear of being shamed?

I have an accounting program to track the financial position of my business, including a comparison of my budget to actual. It measures my compliance to the value of ensuring that my income exceeds my outgo so my upkeep doesn't become my downfall. I am not concerned in the least about meeting with an accountability group to demonstrate that my business is profitable. Why? Because I am intrinsically motivated; it is a personal value. I want my business to be successful because that is what is important to me. (I neglected to mention that it is also a value of my bank manager).

Currently I am meeting with two other men who are vocationally in a similar situation where we are required to manage our own time. Each of us has decided that time management is important. We do not connect to hold each other accountable but rather to look at ways in which we can individually be more effective in accomplishing our stated values.

The current use of the term accountability usually implies that others will hold me responsible to do something which I do not value enough to do on my own.

This concept of accountability is not original with me. One of the best books I have read recently is The Twelve Week Year by Brian Moran and Michael Lennington, in which they discuss accountability as a character trait.